Ten Secretes to a Successful Marriage

Here are 10 principles that will help you create and maintain a successful marriage.

By Christian Pascal Ukegbu

Successful couples are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience – trial and error.

Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:

HAPPINESS IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.

COUPLES DISCOVER THE VALUE IN JUST SHOWING UP

When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.

IF YOU DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO, YOU WILL GET SAME RESULT

Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.

YOUR ATTITUDE DOES MATTER

Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.

CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE

How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.

THE GRASS IS GREENEST WHERE YOU WATER IT

Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.

YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE BY CHANGING YOURSELF

Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.

LOVE IS A VERB, NOT JUST A FEELING

Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels good and when it doesn't.

MARRIAGE IS OFTEN ABOUT FIGHTING THE BATTLE BETWEEN YOUR EARS

Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse.

A CRISIS DOESN'T MEAN THE MARRIAGE IS OVER

Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.

Sack Jose Mourinho and Bring in Diego Simeone

Reports in France suggest that Chelsea are ready to sack Jose Mourinho and replace him with Diego Simeone after this weekend's Champions League final.

It seems that notoriously fickle Roman Abramovich is unhappy that Mourinho failed to bring any silverware to Stamford Bridge this season, believing instead that the Atletico Madrid manager is the man to take the Blues forward.

French publication Le10Sport have reported that Abramovich now doubts Mourinho's ability to take Chelsea back to the top and that the Russian could fire the Portuguese manager before the end of the month.

Simeone was talked about in relation to the Manchester United job before Louis Van Gaal was appointed and Abramovich believes that the Chelsea job could tempt the Argentinian to England. 

It is suggested that Simeone has a release clause in his contract that has not yet expired which Chelsea will look to exploit.

Mourinho spent the entire season talking down his squad, saying that he inherited a team in transition who aren't ready to challenge for trophies yet, but it seems that the club's owner is putting the blame on the Portuguese boss. 

Reports from France suggest that if Mourinho is let go by Chelsea, he could find himself at another big-spending club, with Paris Saint-Germain reported to be interested. 

DAVID LUIZ SET TO JOIN PARIS SAINT-GERMAN (PSG)

Chelsea have confirmed they have agreed terms with Paris Saint-German for the sale of David Luiz.

Widespread reports on Friday had claimed the two clubs were in advanced talks over the Brazil international in a deal that would make Luiz the world's most expensive defender.

The BBC suggested a fee in the region of 40 million pounds, while the Daily Mail and Sky Sports put the figure closer to 50 million pounds.

On Friday, the Blues confirmed a deal was in place for the 27-year-old but made no reference to the value of the transfer.

The statement on Chelsea's official website read: "Chelsea Football Club and Paris Saint-Germain have agreed terms for the transfer of David Luiz to the French club. The move is now subject to David Luiz agreeing personal terms with PSG and passing a medical examination."

The former Benfica defender is expected to sign a four-year contract, with a further year on option, when the deal is made official when the summer transfer window opens on June 10.

A statement on PSG's official website added: "To respond to the desire of the player to prepare and play the World Cup in his own country in the best conditions possible, the will of the two clubs and of David Luiz was to come to an agreement as quickly as possible between Paris Saint-Germain and Chelsea, on the one hand, and between the Parisian club and the player on the other in order to make the transfer official as soon as the transfer window opens."

PSG paid a reported 42 million euros (35 million pounds) in 2012 for Thiago Silva, who could now link up with his Brazil teammate in central defence. Luiz's arrival will also make up for the departure of Alex, another Brazil defender bought from Chelsea in 2012, who is out of contract.

The 30 million pounds (then 44.8 million euros) Manchester United paid Leeds for Rio Ferdinand in 2002 is the highest transfer fee ever paid for a defender in terms of euros. Silva's deal is the highest in pounds because of a change in exchange rates.

Laurent Blanc had earlier said PSG would strengthen their squad this summer despite having been sanctioned for breaching UEFA's financial fair play rules, and the coach had already expressed his admiration for Luiz. Luiz, for his part, had welcomed the speculation he could be set for a move across the Channel.

Barcelona and Bayern Munich were reportedly also pursuing the player, who has spent three-and-a-half seasons at Stamford Bridge, making 143 appearances.

Last season, Luiz was primarily used in defensive midfield by Jose Mourinho after being unable to break up the central defensive partnership of John Terry and Gary Cahill.

His departure means Tomas Kalas will be given further first-team opportunities next season while Kurt Zouma, signed from St Etienne in January and immediately loaned back to the French side, will also link up with the Blues.

He took it to his twitter handle

YOUR VAGINA - 8 THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW

Yap, your vagina has been with you your entire life, but how much do you actually know about it? Whether you've been too shy to ask or don't know where to look for information, chances are there are plenty of things that you've wondered about the area "down there." From what to expect after childbirth to normal sexual functions, read on to find out surprising facts you may not know about your lady parts.

 

I.         IT CLEANS ITSELF. 
Step away from the soap and harsh cleansers, gals. Your vagina keeps itself clean. “It’s lined by a variety of glands that produce the fluids needed to both lubricate and cleanse the vaginal area,” says Lisa Stern, APRN, a nurse practitioner who works with Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles. “The vast majority of vaginal infections I see in my office are self-induced—generally by women who think they’re doing a good thing by washing their vagina with soap and water, or worse, with douche.” Bath products, particularly those with chemical dyes or fragrances, can irritate the vagina and wash away the beneficial lubricants and flora (bacteria and yeast) that are normal and natural, she says. When these beneficial compounds get washed away, anaerobic bacteria and yeast proliferate and can cause symptoms like discharge, odor and itching. Lesson learned: While a little mild soap on the labia area is OK, your body does a fine job of keeping the insides clean.

 

II.        IT GROWS IN SIZE WHEN AROUSED.
“The average length of a vagina is 3 to 4 inches long,” says Lissa Rankin, MD, gynecologist and author of What's Up Down There? Questions You'd Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend. Sounds sort of small, and possibly unaccommodating to your well-endowed husband or partner, right? Fear not, nature makes room. “It can double in length when aroused,” Dr. Rankin explains. But she adds that many women still have pain during sex when their partner is on the larger side. She recommends using plenty of lubricant and going slow. “Encourage your partner to have fun with foreplay,” she says. “The more aroused you feel, the less intercourse will hurt.”

 

III.      JUST LIKE YOUR FACE, YOUR VAGINA ALSO WRINKLES WITH AGE.
It’s a fact of life: The appearance of your lady parts may change with age. “The labia may become less plump as estrogen levels wane, fatty pads in the labia shrink and less collagen can lead to more sagging,” says Dr. Rankin. “The skin of the vulva may darken or lighten and the clitoris may shrink. It’s normal either way.” Scary? Nah. “These changes, which are often related to decreasing levels of estrogen, do not affect how much pleasure your girl parts can bring you.”

 

IV.      YOU CAN’T LOSE SOMETHING IN YOUR VAGINA (LIKE A TAMPON).
Everyone’s heard the myth that things can get “lost” in there. “The vagina is bounded at the inner end by the cervix and by the vagina’s own tissue,” says Stern. In other words, your vagina is not connected to another area of your body so don’t worry about anything going missing! However, “Sometimes a tampon can get lodged deep inside the vagina, like if it’s accidentally left in place during intercourse. If this happens, your healthcare provider should be able to remove it easily with a speculum and forceps,” she says.

 

V.        SOME WOMEN EJACULATE WITH ORGASM.
“It definitely happens, and it’s not uncommon,” says Dr. Rankin. “It seems to be a learned skill and happens more commonly as women get older and learn how their bodies work.” So how does it happen? “There are glands around the urethra—the tube between the bladder and the outside world—that probably secrete fluid, particularly when the anterior wall of the vagina (a.k.a. the G Spot) is stimulated." Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a sexuality researcher and professor at Rutgers College of Nursing, describes this area as “ ‘the female prostate,’ a collection of glands, blood vessels, nerves and spongy tissue that, when stimulated, seem to create fluid in some women.”

 

VI.      YOUR VAGINA MAY CHANGE DRAMATICALLY AFTER CHILDBIRTH.
“Post-childbirth the vagina doesn’t so much look different as it feels different,” says Dr. Rankin. “As a gynecologist, I can almost always tell if a woman has delivered vaginally or not. I need a larger speculum for a woman who has had two kids than for a childless woman. But from the outside, you can’t tell unless a woman has torn during childbirth, in which case she may have a faint scar at the site of her tear or episiotomy.” If you’re uncomfortable with the way your vagina has stretched and changed after childbirth, Rankin has a one-word recommendation: Kegels! “These exercises can really help,” she says. A refresher course: You can do them anywhere, anytime. Just squeeze the muscles you use to start and stop the flow of urine, holding for a few seconds at a time, and repeating in sets of 10—or more, if you’re up to the task!

 

VII.     THE VAGINA IS LIKE A BICEP, USE IT OR LOSE IT. 
“It’s true that the vagina stays healthier when you’re using it with some regularity,” says Dr. Rankin. “Not only does sex keep the sensitive vaginal tissue healthy, but it’s almost as if your yoni has a memory. If you keep reminding your vagina that it has a purpose beyond reproduction, it's likely to rise to the occasion." Case in point: If you neglect your vagina for too long (no sex, no Kegel exercises, etc.), the vaginal walls can become fragile, she says. And when menopause strikes, it may scar and close off a bit. But sex isn’t the only answer: Your doctor can suggest specific exercises and instruments that can help the vagina stay in tip-top shape.

 

VIII.   VAGINAL DISCHARGE VARIES FROM WOMAN TO WOMAN. 
Dr. Rankin notes that the average amount of vaginal discharge a woman of reproductive age secretes over a period of eight hours weighs 1.55 grams (a gram is equivalent to about 1/4 teaspoon). But, some women produce much less and others produce much more—and the variations are completely normal! “You produce the greatest amount of discharge (1.96 grams) around the time of ovulation,” she says. “Of course, every woman is different. Some women have ectropion, when the mucous-producing glands that are usually on the inside of the cervix evert onto the outside of the cervix. If your cervix has this normal feature, you may produce more cervical mucous, which increases the amount of vaginal discharge you have. Some women produce very scant amounts of discharge and others make much more. In the absence of infection, it’s normal either way.” And the color? It varies, too—and just because there’s a pigment to it, doesn’t mean you have an infection. “Normal vaginal discharge is whitish, but may appear yellowish when it dries,” she says. “But if your vaginal discharge appears greenish when wet, you have itching or burning, your discharge smells extra-fishy or you think you’re at risk for STDs, get it checked just to be on the safe side.”

 

You can also see:

INCREASE BREAST SIZE WITH BIRTH CONTROL http://chrupentertainments.blogspot.com/2014/05/increasing-breast-size-with-birth.html

 

BUSINESS GROWTH; 10 WAYS TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN BUSINESS

I. “Build something you believe in — because that’s the first step to building a great brand.”

Just like Goldman and Nalebuff, I learned a powerful lesson in tenacious passion from 30 plus years of entrepreneurship. When you’re all alone, sitting in a dark room wondering why your business is failing, there is only one true thing to power you forward — you believe in your purpose.

II. “Don’t aim for 10% improvement. Make it radically better and different.”

Yes — in today’s society we collectively create amazing products, services and companies through entrepreneurship. World changing at times and Honest Tea was radically different when first introduced. But, if you look around, we also live in the land of ‘me-too’ businesses. Don’t fall for it. Dig deep and decide right now to build something radically different and radically better.

III. “Prepare to be copied. Don’t start unless you’ll survive imitation.”

If your idea is truly radical and takes off, you can count the minutes before the copy-cats arrive. How will you survive competition from the big 800-pound gorillas on the block? Or even from the upstart little guys? Your key is a system of ‘continuous innovation’. Although you could also take the road of Honest Tea — make friends with one of the gorillas and let them buy you out. (Coca-Cola Company acquired Honest Tea in 2011.)

IV. “Build up reserves of money and energy for bad luck and mistakes.”

Great advice — but sometimes extremely difficult to do. What startup or growth company has reserves of cash sitting around? But Goldman and Nalebuff make a good point — run as lean as you possibly can and do not waste money or energy. You will endure mistakes and bad luck along the way, so having a good war chest full of capital and energy can help handle it.

V. “Never, ever give up control — until you sell.”

Some high-impact entrepreneurs will readily give up control in exchange for the lure of high-growth through venture capital — but I am not one of them. Relinquish control and you risk losing the culture and vision of the company you set out to build. Even though Honest Tea raised investment capital from the beginning, the co-founders always remained in the driver’s seat. (And yes — Goldman can still drive his vision as CEO of Honest Tea, but his boss at Coca-Cola can say ‘no’ at anytime. Thus, true control is forever gone.)

VI. “Don’t compromise on the big things — compromise on everything else.”

Vision. Purpose. Core values. Write these things in stone and never budge. But flexibility in the value propositions, products and services you build to execute your purpose is vastly important. Many entrepreneurs I see fail to ‘bend to the market’ by adapting to what their customer’s are telling them.

VII. “Figure out how to achieve your goals on a tiny budget — then cut that number in half.”

Yes — you’ve heard it said before — it will cost twice as much, and take twice as long as you think. My recommendation is you apply the principles of lean to your business from day one. No fancy offices. No fancy full color brochures. Your goal is to stay alive until you can nail your secret formula for success. Blowing the budget will insure nothing but a quick death.

VIII. “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

Is it ever. Building a business is neither for the faint of heart or the speed demon. Climbing Mt. Everest is not done in 3 easy steps: 1.) decide you want to do it, 2.) fly to Nepal with zero preparation, 3.) sprint straight up the mountain in 12 easy minutes. Build systems for the long-haul and focus on small-connected steps. (It takes 26,364 steps of 7″ each to climb Mt. Everest, and that’s starting from half way up at Basecamp.)

IX. “Take care of your family, personal and spiritual health — if you aren’t laughing or smiling on a regular basis, recalibrate.”

Imagine the path to a wildly successful business: founder working at a feverish pitch for 18 hours each day, for at least 5 years straight. True? No, it’s not. In my private conversation with Goldman, he flat-out told me two reasons he made it through the rough years: first — he believed in his purpose, second — his drive for personal balance. The notion we need to kill our family relationships, personal health or level of sanity to build our own business is sadly misaligned. Take it from me — don’t go there.

X. “Build the enterprise and the brand as if you’ll own them forever.”

Will you sell your business someday? Maybe. Should that be the sole reason you are building it? Probably not. When you start and build a business based on passion and purpose, with a burning desire to solve the pain of your customer through the deliverance of monetizable value, you build a far more valuable enterprise. Those in it for the short-term quick buck rarely succeed. Plaster these 10 rules from Goldman and Nalebuff to your mirror, live by them everyday of your life as an entrepreneur and you might end up as successful as they. Honest.