The Secret of What Women Want In Men
by: Christian Pascal Ukegbu
"What do women want?" many
men have wondered. Who knows. But figuring out what women want in men is
crucial to becoming effective not only in dealing with women, but developing
the kind of Dating Life you really want.
So what do women want from men? What
traits do they look for? And why -- what’s the reason behind it?
There are three specific traits. And
naturally there are also three corresponding reasons why women want these
traits in men.
Let’s take some time to explore them
in detail...
Ultimately, what women want in men
is to have their needs and desires fulfilled. To understand what traits women
look for in men, we have to understand just what those needs and desires are...
... and then we can make the
connections to these character traits, and how you can develop them in
yourself.
Need #1: Security. Women want to feel safe. In today’s civilized world
however, safety isn’t really that big of an issue anymore.
Need #2: Pleasure. Women want to feel pure sensual stimulation. What do men
talk about? Business, sports, and women. But what do women talk about? Sex,
men, sex, relationships, and sex -- did I mention sex?
Need #3: Adventure. Women want to feel excitement and anticipation. They have a
strong desire to trust in someone who will lead them into emotional charged
experiences that they wouldn’t have the courage to go alone.
Now, what you’ll notice is that what
women want in men are traits that allow her to experience the condition that
meet her needs and desires...
... traits that give her these
FEELINGS!
The
3 Traits Women Look For in a Man’s Character
So what traits allow women to
experience these feelings? This is the key to understanding what women look for
in guys.
Here’s what women want in men...
Trait #1: Loyalty. Loyalty allows a woman to feel safe. It gives her a sense
of security.
Trait #2: Imagination. Imagination allows a woman to feel stimulated. It gives her
a sense of pleasure.
Trait #3: Passion. Passion allows a woman to feel excitement. It gives her a
sense of adventure.
Now, what you’ll notice is that guys
can be categorized by which trait is most dominant in them.
Nice Guys are loyal.
Smooth Guys are imaginative.
And Bad Guys are passionate.
We’ll take a look at each man
shortly, but before we do...
... what defines a man? Why do some
have loyalty as their dominant trait while others have imagination -- or
passion?
How
Do You Develop Different Traits?
What defines a man’s character? And
why are certain traits dominant in some while suppressed in others? After all,
different dominant traits attract very different responses from women.
Here’s the secret...
It has to do with his views on risk.
It’s all in his ATTITUDE toward risk!
What you’ll notice is that what
defines each type of guy is how he approaches risk. And the key to figuring out
what women want in men is to notice how different men respond to risk.
How a guy approaches risk is what
defines him and his character.
So if you want to change your
character, change your beliefs about what risk means to you.
Do you respond to risk with fear?
That’s an important question.
Ultimately, what women want in men
are guys who respond to risk with courage -- not fear.
Now, let’s take a closer look at
each guy by paying attention to how he responds to risk, and the effect it has
on women...
Trait
#1: Nice Guys Have Loyalty
Nice Guys are your average guys.
They tend to be passive.
There are a few guys that don’t buy
into it, but we’re all raised to be Nice Guys. We’re conditioned to become Nice
Guys from day 1.
How do Nice Guys look at risk?
Nice Guys avoid risk at all costs.
Risks scare them because they hate stepping outside of their comfort zones.
They cling to what they know, and usually resist change.
Generally, they’re closed-minded.
They think they’re always right... even though they may not voice that opinion.
And it is this needing to be right that causes their fear of risk.
When it comes to their approach to
women or dating, they rely on what they’ve been taught to believe their whole
lives.
They try to BUY a woman’s affection
with free dinners, free drinks, free advice, free gifts, free favors, and free
compliments
When you ask the Nice Guy for advice
on dating, he says, "Be nice, and treat a woman with respect."
What he really means is, "Bend
over backwards for women. Suck up to them. Disrespect yourself by going out of
your way to please them. Be her slave and kiss her ass... and pray she gives
you what you want."
They focus on women... on pleasing
them.
What women want in men is SECURITY.
And even though Nice Guys are the least successful with women, they do offer
women security because they’re LOYAL.
Women marry Nice Guys. That’s it.
Women SETTLE for Nice Guys when they’ve either run out of options, or are ready
to ’settle down’ because they know they can trust him to provide for her.
But in her eyes, he’s just a
friend... not really a lover.
And since, today, women have equal
opportunities as men for seeking financial security, she can give herself the
only thing Nice Guys have to offer.
Basically, women get together with
Nice Guys out of laziness.
Trait
#2: Smooth Guys Have Imagination
Smooth Guys are suave... or rather,
they seem suave at first. They tend to be moody... one moment they may be
passive, and the next, aggressive.
These are the people-pleasers.
They’re players, con-artists, and BSers.
Unlike the Nice Guys, they cannot be
trusted. They’re not loyal.
They tend to be guys who feel they
need to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. So what you are actually
seeing is always a clever disguise that covers their perceived weaknesses.
How do Smooth Guys look at risk?
Like Nice Guys, they don’t like risk
but they’ll take it if they’re promised a guarantee. They need reassurance that
they won’t fail. If they think they have a ’fail-safe’, they’ll take it.
What they want is to belong, and fit
in. They’re generally after winning people’s approval. And that’s why they need
the guarantee.
When it comes to their approach to
women or dating, they rely on techniques and seduction methods.
They try to convince or PERSUADE a
woman into liking them with hypnosis, seduction, and techniques.
When you ask the Smooth Guy about
dating advice, he says, "Use manipulation to seduce women."
What he’s really saying is, "I
don’t feel that I deserve a woman for who I am. I’ll sacrifice my own identity
to feel close to someone. I’m that desperate for affection."
They focus on being validated by
women... usually on sex, and their performance.
What women want in men is
STIMULATION. Smooth Guys offer women stimulation because they are IMAGINATIVE.
They’re successful at bedding women and giving them sensual experiences.
Women sleep with Smooth Guys because
they know there will be no strings attached... it’s free sex. They know the guy
won’t pursue or judge them afterwards.
They’re sex toys. Women use them to
fill space.
Trait
#3: Bad Guys Have Passion
Bad Guys are generally the rebels
and jocks. Often, we know them as "that jerk", or "that
asshole"... the "bad boy".
They tend to be highly aggressive.
Bad guys are very masculine. They
have all the manly traits... but they are often very selfish and domineering.
Still, women go crazy for them
because these guys usually don’t look for approval from anyone... they’re not
out to please anyone.
How do Bad Guys look at risk?
They love risk! They often take
risks for no other reason than because they enjoy it... to put themselves to
the test.
When it comes to their approach to
women or dating, they generally don’t have one. They don’t need an approach
because there are always women pursuing them.
Women WIN them because Bad Guys
don’t care, and are unpredictable.
When you ask the Bad Guy about
dating advice, he says, "Who cares!"
What he really means is, "I’m
completely self-centered. I don’t really care about anyone, but myself. I look
out for me, but no one else -- oh yeah... I take what I want, when I
want."
They focus on themselves... pleasing
themselves, often at the expense of others.
What women want in men is ADVENTURE.
Bad Guys offer women adventure because they’re PASSIONATE. Women are attracted
and become attached and addicted to these guys.
Women want these guys because they
can’t help it. It’s in their nature. Bad Guys trigger high states of attraction
in women and create intense emotions.
They’re the guys women want to catch
and tame. But Bad Guys refuse to be controlled, so it’s always a losing battle.
Why
Not Integrate and Balance All 3?
Then there are the guys who have all
these traits integrated into their character in a balanced way.
They have integrity.
I call them the Cool Guys. They are
the rare guys who have a healthy balance...
They are loyal, but they respect
themselves. They are imaginative, but they don’t use it to win people’s
approval but to pursue their dreams. And they are passionate, but they don’t
let it control them.
They’re assertive and enthusiastic.
They have backbone unlike the Nice
Guy, they’re creative like the Smooth Guy, and they control their emotions...
yet they respect others, unlike the Bad Guy.
A Cool Guy is the ideal guy... the
guy that all women are secretly looking for -- not only in the short-term, but
also in the long-term.
What women want in men, ultimately,
is a man who has all these traits. A man who has integrity.
How do Cool Guys look at risk?
They also love risk! But they choose
when they take a risk, and they place a purpose behind their risks. They take
risks to better themselves, but not at the expense of others.
When it comes to their approach to
women or dating, they decide to give women chances -- if they like what they
see or experience.
Like Bad Guys, women WIN them,
because Cool Guys are authentic, genuine, and real. They know what they want
and pursue their ambitions, and they have high standards and expect the best.
When you ask the Cool Guy about
dating advice, he says, "Live your life on your terms. Have an identity
that belongs to you. Have ambition and create a World... and women will show-up
and try to invite themselves in."
What he really means is, "Women
are an addition to my life. They don’t complete me, and I don’t need them. But
they definitely make it more fun."
Cool Guys offer women EVERYTHING!
They are the best of all worlds.
This is the guy women will fight
for! This is the trophy every woman wants to win.
He can be nice, he can be smooth,
and he can be dangerous... but in a good way.
What women want in men is the
character of a Cool Guy.
